Jealousy hurts the person suffering from it and the - the person the emotion is directed at.
Jealousy comes out as judgement. We try not to appear judgemental because it’s not polite. However, as creatures of habit we allow ourselves some healthy comparison of actions because it gages proper human behaviour. The problem is when the judgement gets out of hand and relationships suffer.
When judgement becomes overtly obsessive with blame and shame, it comes out as bitterness and self abuse. Jealousy is a social immaturity. Excessive envy is a mental impairment.
Jealousy is a complex emotion most often learned in families. It is a compensation for fear. Gossip is one thing, but above and beyond slander is usually an indication of a jealous personality - a personality so desperate to appear in control and better.
We see this poor social behaviour, most often when it sabotages personal intimacy. We see it in the work place as a ruthless tool and we see it in the dynamics of family, like when a mother or mother in law can totally destroy family bonds because she is unable to regulate her own narcissism.
Jealousy is about asserting control and it seethes within a person. The need to control is overwhelming, the inability to control makes the person unhappy and the first thing that is done is blame.
The recipients who are envied, feel rejected and punished and the asserting jealous person feels vindicated.
With communication a person can be told their jealousy is hurting others, with kindness, a socially immature person can be validated and guided into understanding what it is they are actually in fear of.