When someone hasn’t developed the skills to communicate, they constantly damage interpersonal relationships because those around them cannot guess how to get through to them. Relationships end because poor communication and mental health issues run hand in hand.
Regardless of how well written an email is, a person who isn’t willing to clear things up will not hear anything positive or supportive. They’ll likely not respond, pivot or respond with a comment not even related to the content in the message. The confusion they create within their own selves, frustrates those around them and keeps themselves, in a state of struggling with their own mental wellness. They cannot be happy.
If someone is afraid to see someone in person and speak face to face, then a great fear exists. I am not - to be clear, criticizing this, it shows that the other person has caused such anguish that a fearful person is unwilling to be in close vicinity with whom they believe, caused them grief, anger or emotional pain. Respect that need for protection.
If an opportunity presents itself to move forward, follow these tips for a more successful conversation.
decide what it is…. that you actually need to say
employ De Escalation strategies by being empathic & non judgemental, set limits
state clearly how you both are feeling and accept each other's points of view
listen more than you speak
If someone denies anything is even wrong, refuses communication and makes you feel that you are in any way weak for requesting such mediation, then observe the red flag, this person is abusive and you need to terminate any attempts at mediation until and unless - they are cooperative.
Admittedly all you can do is try, if that isn’t possible, respect limitations. The inability to communicate is a disability that with kindness and cognitive training, can be overcome. Take care of yourself.